When a person is beginning therapy they often say I don’t want to get dependent on therapy. In my experience there a difference between the kind of dependence that keeps a person stuck and inhibits growth and the kind of dependability that promotes growth. Many times the person who is most afraid of depending has never been able to depend fully on anyone. They more times than not have experienced manipulation or control, instead of dependability. The truth as I see it, is that depending on your therapist is a nessessary if you are going to make the kind of deep lasting changes that stay with you after therapy has ended. At a minimum, you need to be able to depend on your therapist to keep the frame- that is to be reliable and consistent with appointment times, keep the focus on you, and to remember what you say from session to session. Also it is essential that your therapist be able to keep their focus on the underlying emotion of what you are saying. If any of these basic essentials are missing then you aren’t getting all you can from your therapy.
So depending is a key element of a fruitful therapy. Just make sure you are with someone you can depend on.
